Living with intention, Mothering

I’m Here. 

image.jpgI’ve been showing up to yoga classes, whether I want to get out of bed or not. I have a toddler who will not sleep through the night. He was for a while. But now he’s not.

Yesterday, when I arrived at class (after feeding two kids, dressing one, then dropping the other off at school) there was one “good”‘spot left in the studio. There was a yoga block there and I didn’t know this was intended to save a spot for someone.

I began to unfurl my mat, and the woman beside me said, “Oh, this space is taken.” Before thinking, without any filter, I replied, “I’m here.”

“But she comes all the time.”

I didnt know what to say. My teacher, ever the mind reader and peacemaker, called me and said “Look, I can make room next to me!”

I sat on my mat and set my intentions on learning to listen and respond thoughtfully. It occurred to me that saving a spot at a yoga class is very anti yoga. But so is my overreacting and playing the exchange over and over in my head.

I have two children. They take up space in my life. They do things like get sick, bite my yoga blocks, take too long to get dressed, forget their backpack… There are ways in which it is so hard to show up. But I’m here.

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meditation, Yoga to relieve stress

Loving Kindness Meditation

May you be safe and protected,
May you be healthy in body and mind,
May you be happy,
May you live in comfort, and in peace.

This is my simple Metta, or “Loving Kindness” meditation (LKM). I learned of LKM from a yoga teacher years ago, and it popped up in a mindfulness pregnancy app I used during one of my pregnancies throughout my infertility journey.* It is a highly effective meditation that has gotten me through some really tough times. In my experience, you can do this anywhere! While you’re in the shower, while the dental hygienist cleans your teeth, at the checkout line at the grocery store, as you fold the laundry, lying in bed and trying to sleep… no special prep or props required!

First, direct the phrases/thoughts/intentions at a pure loving person. Your child, the Dalai Lama, your best friend, your spouse… whoever warms you and fills your love cup.

Second, you direct the phrases/thoughts/intentions at a person you have difficulties with, or who needs these intentions. Or a people… this could be your partner, Syrian refugees, a friend with an illness, republicans… Someone that really needs love and kindness.

Third, direct the phrases/thoughts/intentions to yourself:

May I be safe and protected,
May I be healthy in body and mind,
May I be happy,
May I live in comfort and in peace.

Finally, direct them at all humankind:

May you be safe and protected,
May you be healthy in body and mind,
May you be happy,
May you live in comfort and in peace. 

Loving Kindness is one way I can get through the rough days. I hope it helps you, too.

  
* I will share details of my experience with secondary infertility… eventually.